Heading out into the world

With the exception of church on Sunday and a trip to the grocery store on Monday I have not left the house -- the back is getting better but is not all the way there.  So I have been spending lots of time in my gravity chair, getting up frequently to move and stretch my back, which MUST get better if for no other reason than I have a 1600 mile car trip to Utah coming up at the end of the month (VACATION!) which would be hellish if it does not improve.


But today I am venturing out for two meetings, both involving getting in and out of my car which proved painful and challenging on Monday.  But since my back is better than it was on Monday, perhaps it won't be as bad.  I did call and find out the meeting at noon is in hard, straight back plastic chairs, which concerns me and may involve my early exit from that meeting so that I can go find a more appropriate seating option.  This evening's meeting is at the CRC in the boardroom, with more appropriate chair options.  I am just hoping that I don't make my back worse by venturing out into the world.  And I am allowing myself the option of leaving either meeting if they cause my back to hurt -- and if people don't understand then, well, poop on them.


All I know is that reclining and stretching has helped, and I am not about to go backwards by overdoing it today.  But hopefully it won't be too bad and my road to recovery will continue.  That said, back pain/injury sucks ass.

Bad Blogger

I haven't blogged since Friday because I've been avoiding sitting in a chair to help my back heal.  And blogging on my laptop became tedious as I hate that keyboard.  Plus I figured you all were sick of hearing about my back, maybe even as sick as I am of the whole affair. But I shall make the sacrifice and sit here at my desk and blog for a moment because I'm sure all three of my readers have missed me.


My back is starting to mend, I hope, finally.  Had a bad day yesterday (dummy me went grocery shopping) but told myself last night I would be better today, so that's my story and I'm sticking to it.  The odd thing is that the pain has moved.  After the last Tuesday spasms all along my lower back, the pain radiated to my lower left side and stayed a while.  Then it moved to my lower right side, where it afflicted me most of the weekend.  And now it's moved up to my left side just where my bra strap rides (when I can get a bra on, that is).  Still a bit stiff in the lower right but not as bad.  So my thought is that it is moving up and outta there for good!  If not by Wednesday then Bob thinks I should go to the doctor to get an appointment with a PT.  Or maybe Kim can come show me some new exercises when she gets back from her lovely R and R.


Anyway, it's a lovely day, I plan to get some work done but also to continue taking it easy. I have office work I can do on my laptop for NCC, and no meetings to attend until Thursday.  So, fingers crossed that I am on the mend!

YouTube laughs

Christopher Walken makes me laugh. I especially love his voice. And his relaxed, almost sleep-walking acting style. He hosted SNL last year, or maybe it was the year before, and he did this skit with Kristin Wiig playing a character named Sue, who got a tad over-excited about the prospect of a surprise party for CW's niece. The skit was amusing, but I quickly forgot about it.

Then I found this youtube video this morning. I wasn't sure what it was at first, but recognized Walken's voice and thought cool, this guy is talking to CW. Then I heard the applause and realized that this guy was perfectly lip syncing the Kristin Wiig part of the skit. And acting it out. It made me laugh. Which kind of made my back hurt again but it was worth it. So here I am, sitting on ice, getting ready to watch it again. Enjoy!

Here is a link to the original skit if you are interested.
http://video.aol.ca/video-detail/saturday-night-live-skit-surprise-party/72057658936783856/?icid=VIDURVMOV03

Meet my pelvis

KT the PT came by last night after work to check out my pelvis.  It's something she's been wanting to do for a very long time, starting last spring at the Women's Retreat when she tried to touch my pubic bone.  So last night her persistence finally paid off when she got to touch me in numerous places (after we had both consumed wine) supposedly to help figure out what's going on with my back.  She discovered that I am out of balance -- which I am sure comes as no surprise to anyone.  Or maybe she said I'm out of alignment. And one leg is longer than the other (due to a permanently bent knee) and she thinks I have a curve in my spine.  Good lord I'm a mess! Anyway she had me lay down on the bed and then told me to spread my legs and after inappropriate laughter we pushed and pulled and when we were done my back felt a little better.  So she taught Bob how to do it to me and he's going to repeat the exercises this afternoon and "do it to me" when he gets home from work.


Note that the above was written while only under the influence of Tylenol and Sweet Tea. I have not been able to yet score any muscle relaxers (or any herbal remedies).  Just imagine what I would have written had I been on either or both of them!


I slept alright last night but when I woke up this morning, after being flat all night, I was stiff and sore again and made old man noises getting up to go to the bathroom.  I am now back in my gravity chair with ice and my laptop, imagining that I am some better than yesterday and hopefully not as good as I will be tomorrow.  To secure that, I am staying home again today and missing a meeting tonight. I was going to go to my meeting but Bob reminded me how when he does this to his back I chain him to the bed and don't let him do anything at all.  I was properly chagrined and moved to obedience.


Now all I need is a little bell so summon P-Dub to fill my every want and need ...


Speaking of Sweet Pea-Dub, she arrived yesterday and is very happy to be here. The weather is perfect and the leaves are just starting to change.  We are remembering Dad, who left us eight years ago today and knew a thing or two about back pain.  Tonight we'll toast him and I suspect tears will flow from old girl a time or two.


If he were alive, he would have appreciated the humor of the first paragraph -- we had much in common, including the sense of humor of 12 year old boys.

Oh my aching back

So far, being 50 sucks ass.


Yesterday morning I got up, dressed, and headed out to the vet with Kayla for one of her never-ending urine tests (getting old for dogs sucks ass too, she has recurrent bladder infections).  She jumped in the back of the car (she LOVES going to the vet -- well to be honest, she loves going anywhere) and off we went.  I parked the SUV, I turned it off, I opened the car door, stepped out, and WHAM! Huge spasms in my lower back.  


I figured it was some fluke temporary thing and hobbled to the back of the car, got Kayla out and took her into the office.  Sat down on a bench and WHAM! Another spasm of pain which doubled me over in my seat.  Nice receptionist asks if I am okay, I say yes, just having a back spasm.  I should insert that in spite of 36 years of RA, I have fortunately had little to no back problems, and never had a back spasm that I can recall.  So I thought this was just some temporary thing that would work itself out soon.  WRONG!


Got home with some difficulty -- sitting and then trying to stand are my biggest challenges right now -- and decided to skip the gym and go sit in the hot tub.  Figured that would take care of it like it does my arthritis stiffness.  Um, no.  Had a hell of a time getting in and out of the tub, and felt worse afterwards (found out much later that ice was what I should have been doing -- am sitting/leaning on some now as a matter of fact -- me likey). Bob got off early for a 1pm appointment we had with our accountant, which he insisted we cancel so I could go lie down, flat (instead of sitting at the computer, which I had been doing since getting out of the hot tub). This happens to Bob about once a year and he is a pro when it comes to incapacitating lower back pain. Dumb ole me insisted we go to the meeting.  We did.  The car ride to and from south Bloomington almost killed me.


So I went home to bed after the meeting, right?  Um, no. I had Bob drop me off at the office to get ready for a board meeting I had at 4pm.  Sat at that computer for two hours, then the board meeting, then home.  I called "uncle" finally -- tho much later than I should have.  I was dying, and wisely decided to stay home from my 6:30pm meeting.  I reclined in my gravity chair with wine and ice and watched GLEE.


Much to my relief I slept pretty well, but oy, getting out of bed this morning was loud and profane.  Felt just as bad as the day before, so back to ice, gravity chair, bed, and a visit from my friendly PT later this evening.  Followed by more wine.  And hopefully no trip to the doctor ... tho I would love to try muscle relaxers. Me on muscle relaxers could be a hoot!


Thank goodness Philly gets here this afternoon -- she can take care of me.  Bob is picking her up at the Amtrak station in Princeton this afternoon since I can't sit in a car for that long.  Hope she is well rested! 

Melancholy Monday

I always feel blue during the first week of October.  It was the last week we had with my dad before he died, and in particular, the weekend of World Communion Sunday (first weekend of October) is always a poignant one because he died the next day, on a Monday.

Eight years ago right now I was out in SoCal where I had the unique privilege of getting to spend his final weeks with my dad, and was able to say goodbye to him.  He was dying of terminal cancer at the much too young age of 75. I had been there since Sept. 12, and had not gone to church during my stay but that first weekend of October I decided to go to church on World Communion Sunday -- to a little liberal UCC church my mom had attended many times, and where I had gone a few times.  They were a lot like NCC, including having a jazz pianist play secular music, responses to the sermon, and being open and gay friendly.  They were a bit smaller than NCC but in most every other way, the west coast twin of our congregation.  And on that weekend, as my dad was slipping away more quickly, I felt the need to be in a spiritual setting with progressive Christians.

I remember arriving and being greeted warmly by the pastor and a few members who recognized me -- they all asked about were loving and kind and supportive, and I was glad I was with them.  We sat down, and as soon as the pianist started playing prelude music, reminding me so much of Lloyd at NCC, I lost it and started crying.  And I cried and cried and cried (quietly for the most part, no gasping sobs) and they found me a box of kleenex and let me just sit there and cry, with an occasional hand resting on my back or shoulder.  They didn't try to fix me or stop my tears -- they just let me cry.  And as I recall I cried through most of the service, with my head down, lost in my grief but knowing I was surrounded by the love of these strangers, and at the end of the service, when I had finally stopped crying, we stood in a circle for the closing blessing and instead of their usual dismissal, several of them took the time to say words of comfort. I went back home and the next day, Monday, October 7 at 3:15pm, he was gone.

October 7 is a Thursday this year, the official anniversary of his death, but for me each year, it's the Monday after World Communion Sunday when I grieve the most.  Hard to believe how much I still miss him after eight years, and what a hole he's left in our hearts. But he also left a lot of laughter, and love, and tonight Bob and I will have dinner and toast him, and tell some of the stories about him we remember most fondly.  And then Mom will be here Wednesday and we'll remember him again the next day, with her.

I don't believe in heaven in the conventional sense that most Christians do -- in fact there are times I'm pretty sure that this temporal plane is all there is.  But in spite of that, I feel him all around, all the time.  He's gone but not gone, here but not here, and I am content to dwell in the mystery.  At his memorial service, which was filled with music, at the very end the whole family went up and gathered around the piano, which my brother David was playing, and sang "I'll Fly Away," for him, for us.

Perhaps summer is finally over

With the dawn of October, it appears we may have put away the hot humid weather for another year. Thank goddess!  What a sucky summer of 2010.  We lucked out in 2009, with mild temps for the most part, but then it more than made up for it this year.  Just bleh, it was awful.  So I am very happy to see it go and welcome Fall back.  Today will be in the mid-70's and then we'll cool down appropriately over the weekend.  I may even have to put shoes on for the first time in forever (I'm a sandal kind of gal).  We'll see tho, don't want to go crazy or anything.


Bob is preaching this week so I've gotten a lot of office things done, as reported earlier. And tomorrow I may just have run out of excuses to clean the house -- it really is quite a mess and since P-Dub arrives next week, it should probably look more presentable than it currently does.  I went into her room today to put her Meyers book on her bed, and forgot that I had moved all of my birthday party balloons in there.  She got the extra special strong helium in them and those darn things were floating for over a week.  Then a few strays kept floating around and we were having company so I moved them into her bedroom and forgot about them.  Will need to get them out of there -- or maybe not?  Mom, would you like some pretty half-filled balloons on your bedroom floor when you get here? It's kind of festive in a "the party's really over" kind of way.


After today Bob only has two weeks of work left and he is very happy about that.  He normally works at the golf course through December, but I encouraged him to quit earlier than usual so he could work on his business (and get us ready for our Utah camping vacation).  We are getting excited about the dog biz, and a friend who does advertising and marketing for a living has sent us some draft logos that we are thrilled with!  Once we've settled on the one we want, and had some tweaks dones, I'll unveil it here.


In the meantime, Happy October -- and to all of my gaybees -- Happy LGBT History Month!