Happy Almost New Year!

Sorry I have not been good at blogging lately -- I know all four of my readers are deeply disappointed when they come here each day looking for something interesting to read.  I have no good excuse to offer, just laziness on one hand, and busy-ness on the other.  But here I am now!


Twenty five years ago tomorrow (Dec. 31, 1985) this very nice, earnest young man asked me to marry him at midnight in a gazebo overlooking the Pacific Ocean.  Twenty four years ago tomorrow (Dec. 31, 1985) the same very nice, sweet, earnest young man and I got all gussied up and said "I do" to each other at 7:30pm in a beautiful sanctuary still decorated for Christmas.  These crazy kids then headed back to the Pacific Ocean for a couple of nights before flying over it to spend their honeymoon in Hawaii.

Tomorrow night (Dec. 31, 2010) these same two lovebirds will celebrate 24 years of marriage and 25 years of togetherness, which they like to call "boo-boo-ness" but usually not in public because it makes people kind of sick.  And "they" said it wouldn't last, heh! There will be no Pacific Ocean this year (but there will be next year -- we are heading back to the scene of the engagement and spending the week after Christmas in Laguna Beach, celebrating with my family).  Instead it will warm up to a balmy 56 degrees, which I think is rather kind of mother nature, considering the weather we've been enduring of late.  And it will be raining and the snow will be melting, so if I squint maybe it will sound like the ocean?

KAYLA UPDATE:  Kayla is holding her own.  We are trying meds instead of the expensive and invasive MRI/spinal tap/muscle-nerve biopsy/surgery options.  Inexpensive meds -- a low dose of prednisone, which is a steroid I've been on in the past.  So far it has helped her, and the dose is low enough that our local vet isn't concerned about keeping her on it indefinitely, given her age and her ability to tolerate it.  It's not a great drug to be on for the long term, certainly, but the fact that she can get up and down the stairs unassisted, and has not fallen down as much (and gets up easier) suggests to Dr. A., and us, that her problem is NOT the untreatable degenerative myleopathy, but is one of the treatable three (spinal disk problem, canine meningitis, or neuritis).  And since we have opted out of the back surgery option, and since the other two are treated with steroids, for now we feel like we are on the right track and the job now is to find the minimum dose she can exist on and still get around reasonably well.

Decisions, decisions

We had a great visit with our local vet today for help deciding what to do next with Kayla (aka The Money Pit).  


The blood work came back and it's not her thyroid (the easiest thing to fix of course, so it's not that) so we have to figure out what's next. We are hesitant about going back to Aurora for the MRI/Spinal Tap/nerve & muscle biopsy/EMG not only because of the cost involved, but also because we are not of one mind about what we'd do if they found something.


For instance, if the MRI indicates a disc problem, surgery seems like a non-option because it's spinal surgery, which can be dicey anyway, and after we brought her home from their ICU, she'd have to be on strict kennel rest with limited trips outside to potty and NO stairs for two weeks, and then less strict kennel rest but no stairs for another few weeks.  We live in a bi-level, so unless she lives in the garage or on the landing by the front door (which is of course no option) we'd have to carry her up and down the stairs (and by we I mean Bob) every time she went outside.  And she would not be allowed to jump up on her beloved couch or love seat, and she'd basically just lie around on the floor bored, unable to do much of anything, without understanding why.  And she'd probably be in pain.


If it's neuritis or meningitis, they'd treat her with steroids. Not sure for how long -- a lifetime?  She's already got persistent bladder infections, which evidently steroids increase the chance for, and probably will be on antibiotics the rest of her life for the UTI's anyway.  So we aren't sure if that's an option or not, but it's a maybe.  

We went over all of this with Dr. A and she was such a great listener, and she agreed that spending thousands of dollars for something that might not fix the problem, and if it did, would require crazy "bed rest" for Kayla, might not be a good option.  For Kayla more than for us, because it would be a tough recovery for her.  So she called and spoke to the neurologist and they both agreed we should wait a bit before taking the next step.  We are going to try her on a limited dose of steroids and see if that helps -- if it does, then it will give us some answers about what it is.  If it doesn't help, then it's likely one of the non-treatable degenerative conditions and we'll know that too.  And we'll take her back to Aurora for a repeat neuro exam in three weeks (minus the MRI).


Confused yet?  Yeah, welcome to our lives! Fortunately she remains her happy calm content self, and for that we are so grateful.

Snow

I am sick of it.  And it's not even winter yet.  Oy.  Winter starts tomorrow.  Maybe it'll warm up.  In the meantime, this song makes me happy.





So um yeah, it's snowing again right now.  And will continue to do so before turning over to sleety icy drizzly crap this evening.  Which means it will be too cloudy to view the Solstice Lunar Eclipse, which sucks ass since a lunar eclipse on the Solstice is pretty damn rare.


Meanwhile, it's my day off and I got my grocery shopping done.  Kayla is snoozing on the love seat in my office while Bob is at HSCI working with dogs there.  I should be cleaning my office but it's so overwhelming ... maybe I'll just watch "White Christmas" videos on youtube.  


I love "White Christmas." It's my favorite Christmas movie.  I alway saw it on a television, until a few years ago I went to see it on the big screen at the Normal Theater.  I was so shocked by the blue of Bing's eyes!  My sister and I watch it every year, and when we do we call each other during "Sisters" and sing to each other.  It's our favorite song in the movie.  And here is my favorite scene from the movie:





Oh, and Kayla is doing well.  She's bored as hell from all the "rest" but she's doing a bit better navigating the icy back yard to relieve herself, and though she still has trouble getting up off the floor, otherwise she seems to be holding her own and isn't falling down as often.  Still waiting on a call from Aurora for the final blood results, but in the meantime she is happy and content with life, and we are trying to emulate her.

After Aurora

We left yesterday at 8:30am for Aurora.  We got home about 7pm.  One long-ass day.  And we know about as much as we knew before we handed over our credit card.  Which isn't to say they weren't lovely, kind, thorough, and professional, they were.  But we are as much at a loss as to how to progress as we were before we got there.  Bottom line, she either has something treatable or not.  To find out which requires another trip to Aurora for more extensive (invasive to Kayla, not to mention expensive) tests.  

Yesterday she had a thorough neurological exam from a very kind and knowledgeable veterinary neurologist named Dr. Mercier. She also had an ultrasound, chest x-rays, urinalysis, and blood work.  The next step is to return for an MRI and possible spinal tap, biopsy of nerve and muscle tissue, and something called an EMG which has something to do with hooking electrodes or something to her I dunno, honestly, I can't remember ...

As I was typing this Dr. Mercier called.  Surprise surprise, Kayla still has a bladder infection (an ongoing thing for the past year).  Blood results are good, still waiting on thyroid test and a culture for the bladder infection.  Dear lord.  Okay, I thought I could type all this stuff out here, but I cannot.  I have no idea why I'm crying right now.  Okay, I know WHY I am crying, just not why I'm crying right NOW -- probably I've been holding it in for too long since yesterday.

Anyway where was I?  Oh yes, I remember.  We have no idea what the hell to do.  More expensive tests (MRI, spinal tap, etc.) including a four-hour round trip there and back to tell us they can't do anything?  Or take the risk that of the 8 things it could be, she has one of the 2 of 8 that are treatable?  God knows I'd sell the house and give my kidney to her if she needed it (and if that were possible), so how will we know when enough is enough?  Should we get the MRI and the spinal tap in case it's a treatable (surgically) disc issue or meningitis (treated with drugs) and not get the other tests for the things that aren't treatable?  Probably, but can we afford it and can she tolerate it?  Not to mention that we are talking about them knocking her out to do this, a risk at her age AND with her laryngeal paralysis surgery from last year complicating the extubation.

No freaking clue.  What I do know is that for now she's sleeping quietly and comfortably on the couch, and I'm gonna go cuddle her.

Aurora here we come!

Tomorrow is Kayla's big day -- we make the trek to Aurora, IL bright and early tomorrow morning for her appointment with a neurologist. No clue how long we'll be up there, or if we'll have to leave her for any length of time for tests.  So we are taking an overnight bag just in case.  And a laptop. That way we can be assured we'll be home tomorrow night, since if we are prepared, it won't happen. That's how things roll in Ryderland.


We may have to leave her for a time for some tests, and I have ascertained there is a shopping center nearby so I could get my final Christmas gifts.  Oooh I should see if there is a Trader Joe's in Aurora. I know there is one in N'ville, hmmm.


It's cold as "BLEEP" here. It was zero when I got up this morning so I went back to bed. I just can't bring myself to "gym it" when it's zero degrees.  How is this possible? It's not even winter yet. This does not bode well for us, methinks ...


Today we heard the last of four ISU Senior Marketing Class project proposals for marketing NCC (we heard three last week which were very good).  They were also very good, and had some creative ideas for our small budget.  There was a guy in the second group who cracked us up.  His name was Danny.  After the class we got him to share an ad idea he had, which he didn't propose to us, because his group worried it might be irreverent.  Since NCC's middle name is irreverent, we asked him to share.  He wanted us to have a billboard with Jesus walking down the road wearing a rainbow robe talking on his iPhone, with a conversation bubble that said, "People think this is what I died for?" We cracked up. He should come to NCC.


Speaking of iPhones, I don't have one. But I shall share a photo of myself created by an iPhone app on my niece Laura's phone. What think ye? Should it be my FB profile pic?

Should I get an iPhone? If so, will someone pay for it for me, and for the monthly service?


This is a very random blog.

There are all kinds of families

It's Friday and Kayla continues to hold her own -- no better but no worse, so for that we are thankful, and more confident than ever that we'll make it to our Wed. appointment.

Grace is coming over for dinner tonight.  Chicken parm and pasta are on the menu, along with catching up on each other's lives and giving her some quality time with her sister (Kayla).  Since Grace is our adopted daughter (mind you, she has wonderful parents of her own, but she adopted us as a second set of parents while at ISU, so she has her fabulous parents plus a spare set -- us -- and promises to take care of all four of us in our old age) she and Kayla are sisters.  They are very special sisters who love each other and do not fight with each other or vie for our attention like regular sisters often do.  So when Grace heard about Kayla's struggles, she created this image for us on Facebook, and which is adorably sweet, and which I share here:

When we go to Aurora on Wednesday we will be nearby to where Grace's parents live in Naperville.  So if all goes well with the vet and Kayla isn't too worn out from her poking/prodding, we will try to hop over to N'ville and see them, maybe for an early supper or something.  The nice thing is that we love Grace's parents, they are dear friends, and we get along well with them, so when we are old and feeble and being cared for by Grace, we'll all get along and have fun together.  As long as Grace remembers to come over and change our adult diapers every once in a while.

A good day

Taking this a day at a time ... happy that Kayla is having a good day so far today.


Friday she was worse than Thursday, Saturday she was worse than Friday.  Sunday and Monday each worse than the day before.  But yesterday she was not worse than Monday, and today she is about the same.  Maybe even a bit better than Monday.  Happy, perky, walking with fewer stumbles, and staying up on her feet for longer periods of time. My sister and niece do Reiki, and are doing "remote Reiki" on her.  Perhaps it's helping?


We are not being unrealistic.  We know this is serious and possibly the beginning of something tragic.  She still can't go up or down the stairs without help.  She still slips on linoleum. But we are celebrating good days and cherishing our moments with her.  Like this morning when we let her out and she rubbed her face in the snow like she always does.


And at this rate we'll make it just fine to next Wednesday's appointment and won't have to go up there as an ER case.  And then we'll get some answers.  


One day at a time.  

Kayla Sue

My sweet Kayla is getting old.  We know that, we have always known that our time with her is limited -- in fact, I knew from the day our eyes met and we became soul mates at the Humane Society on that steamy day in July, 2001, our time would be limited.  Life is sweet and oh, so short, especially for our canine companions.  And I've been in denial about it pretty much ever since, only not really....

We almost lost her right before she turned 10 and passed out and turned blue at the Comlara Park campground, suffering from laryngeal paralysis (her larynx wouldn't open and close like it was supposed to, so she wasn't getting the air she needed).  She had a risky, expensive surgery at U of I, recovered beautifully from it, and became our same sweet Kayla (with the post-surgery addition of her hacking and coughing like an old man -- we call her Gramps now), cheating death to give us more time with her.

Since this summer though, her age has been creeping up on her again, as she can no longer jump in the back if our car or onto our bed like she used to.  So Bob has to lift her into the car or onto the bed.  She also had some limping issues in Zion when we took her on walks, her back left leg seemed to be bothering her and she'd pick it up sometimes when we walked and would walk with three legs for a bit. We wondered if she had a thorn, or a pad issue, or a sprain or fracture of some sort, so we took her to the vet when we got home to make sure there was no fracture or other bone problem (hips, knees, feet, back) and she had a thorough exam including Xrays which showed no bone problems.  Her hips looked okay as far as they could tell, so we figured it was maybe some arthritis, and that she'd be fine as long as Bob could lift her when needed.

Then last week we noticed it was getting harder for her to get up off the floor -- she was already taking her time getting up carefully, but now she has a hard time getting her back legs underneath her and then getting them to lift her upright.  We assumed hip problems, but then over the weekend her back legs started giving her even more trouble.  She continued to have problems getting up, and then when she'd walk, her back legs were unsteady and she'd lurch like a drunken sailor sometimes, or her legs would go out from under her altogether and she'd fall down.  This happened on slick floors more often, but also started to happen on carpet.  She resisted coming up or down the stairs without a ton of coaxing, and when she'd get to the landing at the front door, her back legs splayed out from under her on the linoleum (we have since added some carpet pieces for her to walk on).  She increasingly has trouble going outside to go potty, and going potty itself once outside has also been a challenge.  In fact, twice she fell over after she pooped because she could not maintain the position.  I'm sure the snow and ice hasn't helped. :-(

Over the weekend we Googled her symptoms and took her to the vet again yesterday for another exam, wondering if she had a condition we found online called Degenerative Myelopathy (DM), which is a kind of MS that older, larger dogs get, and which her symptoms sounded like.  Basically it's an autoimmune disease that attacks the nerves and causes the messages to her muscles to misfire. It starts out the way Kayla's symptoms are presenting, and eventually can cause total paralysis in the back legs, and incontinence.  The vet confirmed that it could be DM, and said that her earlier larynx problems which required surgery in 2009 could be related to what's happening now (an overall nerve issue related to the original laryngeal paralysis).  She also said it could possibly be a ruptured or herniated disc in her back, pressing on a nerve, which could be dealt with via back surgery. And her escalating symptoms progressing more quickly than normal may suggest that.  


But the only way to tell for sure is an MRI and some other neurological testing, which of course can only be done in Chicago at a special vet clinic by a Veterinary Neurologist. So we are taking here there next week (first appointment we could get was for Wed the 15th) and hoping the symptoms don't progress much more before the appointment.  If they do, we are supposed to take her to the Chicago clinic's emergency room, and have her admitted through their ER, which will cost way more than the already astronomical cost of the regular office visit.  And in the meantime we got a sling/harness contraption we use to help lift her back legs when she goes up/down the stairs, and outside, and that is helping in terms of getting her in and out.

The good news is that for the most part, like right now (she is lying on the love seat in my office, snoring softly) ...

... she is comfortable, alert, engaged, eating well and seems to be her usual joyful self, and best of all she does not appear to be in any pain, so that's good news too, but also probably rules out the herniated or ruptured disc theory (which is what I am hoping it is, since that's the one thing that may be treatable).

If it is DM, there is not much we can do other than wait for it to progress to the point where she can no longer walk at all, or potty by herself, and then we will have to make a tough decision .... .  If it's a disc problem, that can be treated with surgery, but even then we'll have to decide whether it's worth it or not in terms of putting her through an expensive and probably painful back surgery that might or might not help.  Yes, I realize we are getting way ahead of ourselves -- we don't know for sure what this is, what's causing it, and what, if anything can be done to treat it.  But we are worried and sad, watching her struggle to get up off the floor, knowing whatever it is, it's something serious.  And that at 11 and a half years old, her time with us is limited no matter what.

I will keep all four of my readers (haha!) posted as we know things.  For now I just hope we/she can hold out until our appointment next week in Chicago, and that she doesn't get much worse and require an ER visit.  Please send some good thoughts, energy, words, prayers to the Goddess, God, St. Frances, or whomever.  Thanks!

First snow

Lots of it.  Started around 5pm last night and still going.  On our deck rail and hot tub, where it settles nicely for measuring, it appears we have 5-6 inches at least.


We are supposed to go to Peoria this morning the the Acorn Equality Fund breakfast, but given the Winter Storm Warning flashing on the Weather Channel, and their advice not to drive unless it's an emergency, we are going to stay home and not chance it.  Which makes us sad because we love this event.  Maybe I-74 is fine by now, but our street hasn't seen a plow yet, and Bob would have to dig out our driveway first, which would make us late.  So we made the choice to stay home.

We are disappointed, but hope our friends, who are no doubt braving their way there now, will understand.  Better go text them now.

I am verklempt with joy

After yesterday's historic vote in favor of the Civil Unions bill in the House, today the Illinois Senate also voted to pass the Civil Unions Bill.  So it's a done deal. I am not gay but I am so overjoyed I can hardly sit still!


After Gov. Quinn signs it into law (he lobbied for it in both the House and Senate, and has already said he will sign it) it will become effective July 1, 2011 (no clue why so long) and my gaybees will be able to be civilly unioned.  No it's not marriage, but it's better than not having Civil Unions, and it's freaking wonderful!  I am thrilled and am so proud of my adopted state.

GO ILLINOIS!  And thank you Rep. Harris (openly gay man and sponsor of the original bill) and Sen. Koehler (a minster! and sponsor of the bill in the Senate) for all of your efforts, and for your passion for justice.

So fitting that it happens on World AIDS Day.


"Dr. King once said that the arc of the moral universe is long but it bends towards justice. It bends towards justice, but here is the thing: it does not bend on its own. It bends because each of us in our own ways put our hand on that arc and we bend it in the direction of justice...."  Barack Obama, April 4, 2008


I am verklempt.


http://chicago.gopride.com/news/article.cfm/articleid/14682400

Christmas came early this year

When my sister was visiting in August for my birthday, I took her to the Garlic Press because I knew it was her kind of store.  When we walked in the door there was this comfy chair sitting in front of the register counter. I sat in it, and never wanted to get out of it.  Betsy said I should have Bob get it for my birthday.  I looked at the price tag and said, "Um yeah, but no."


Last night we were watching television and I was complaining about how uncomfortable the downstairs love seat is for me with all my aches and pains, and wishing we could bring the gravity chair from the deck back inside (I lived in that chair when my back was out in October).  Bob was not excited about bringing outdoor furniture into the house permanently, and suggested we buy a new indoor gravity chair for downstairs. 

As soon as he said that, I had visions of that miracle chair at Garlic Press and wondered if they still had it.  Bob suggested we check after church today which we did, after the Bloody Mary Bar at Medici.  The chair was not where it had been because of the extra Christmas decorations, so we asked if they still had it.  They did, stuffed away in the back of the store to get it out of the way for the holiday goodies.  They got it out for us, I plopped by butt into it, and my butt remembered it, and it was very happy.

They said we could have it for 20% off since it was the display chair.  I told Bob it was too expensive.  Bob said Merry Christmas (after he sat his happy butt in it).  And so now it sits downstairs in front of the television, with an ottoman.  And a pillow they threw in for 50% off.  Bob already got it set up for me, sat down in it, and wondered how hard it would be to get another one.  Probably not too hard, but rather pricey that's for sure.


So um, Mom, remember how you wondered what I wanted for Christmas?  Well, if you'd like to buy me the ottoman, that would work for me!  It's called a "Puff Scroll Rocker" with optional ottoman.  We optioned the ottoman.  I shall sign off with a picture of it for you all and then I shall go return my happy butt to the new chair.  I may never leave it, so this may be my last blog entry.

It's all about justice

The special session of the Illinois General Assembly resumes Monday in the House and Tuesday in the Senate, and will run until December 2.  Back in February, 2009, Rep. Greg Harris introduced the Illinois Religious Freedom Protection and Civil Union Act, which was successfully voted out of committee, and advanced to its third and final reading on March 19, 2009.  The bill was then converted to Senate Bill 1716, which is its current form. The bill awaits a final vote in the Illinois General Assembly, and the hope is that it will come up this week.  

If passed, SB1716 would establish civil unions in Illinois which would offer the same benefits, obligations and responsibilities of marriage. The major benefits include hospital visitation, healthcare decision making, disposition of a deceased loved one’s remains, and probate rights. It would allow LGBT persons equal access to government under the law, while protecting the rights of religious institutions to define marriage as they choose, meaning that the law explicitly protects the rights of all religious institutions to either officiate civil unions or NOT facilitate civil unions based on their faith and traditions. You can find out more about it here.

While civil union is not the same as marriage, many supporters believe this is a positive step forward for Illinois and are hoping it becomes law this week. Bob and I are among them.  This is a matter of justice and equality, pure and simple, and we are confident it’s not a matter of IF it will pass, it is merely a matter of WHEN – of course the sooner justice is served, the better for all of us, gay and straight, single and coupled.

Like Prop Hate in California, the bill is facing opposition both from within Illinois and from the outside.  One example from within was reported in the Chicago Sun Times on Monday when the head of Chicago's Roman Catholic archdiocese portrayed legislation authorizing civil unions between gay and lesbian couples as an initiative that would ''change the nature of marriage'' and urged state lawmakers to reject it.  And from outside the state, the anti-gay National Organization for Marriage (NOM) is targeting Illinois by urging its self-proclaimed "Marriage Protectors" to:  "…stop the civil unions bill (SB1716).  This dangerous bill would create same-sex marriage by another name – extending to same-sex couples all 'the same legal obligations, responsibilities, protections, and benefits of marriage.”

So we've signed on online clergy petition/letter, adding our names to a long list of supporters who love Jesus AND love LGBT's.  And we emailed our state rep and senator, for whatever that will be worth.  And I'm preaching about it tomorrow because it's Advent, and Advent is all about justice and hope.  

Here's hoping!

The girls are fine!

I had my annual mammo last week (Wed.) and less than a week later the letter arrived (today) telling me the girls are fine for another year -- YAY!  While I'm not thrilled (for many reasons) with Carle becoming OSF, I am thrilled with how much more quickly I get my mammo results.  With Carle it took two weeks to get the letter.  If there was a problem you got a phone call within a few days, which I did one year, which of course freaked me the hell out -- it seems my swimming added muscle to my chest, which was a new thing for them and for me, so they needed some more poses for the girls, which were weird and twisty and painful but turned out fine.  Otherwise you'd get the letter in about two weeks.  With OSF this year and last, I got the letter in a week, which is way cool.  


So now I can relax and not worry about the girls for another year, and can concentrate on worrying about my colon, which will be roto-rootered sometime between now and before I turn 51.  When I had my physical last month, and we made appointments for the mammo and blood work, etc. I promised Pat, my NP, that I would make the appointment for my colonoscopy sometime in the new year, before August, and that was good enough for her since most of her patients don't follow through but she knows I will.  I have my skin cancer screening on Monday (add that briefly to the worry list for now), and the mammo last week, and I wanted a few weeks/months off before dealing with my colon.  She understood and agreed.  So, after the first of the year, I'll make that appointment.  It's not the actual procedure I dread.  It's the night before ...


On another note, Bob's last day of work is TODAY and not tomorrow -- YAY!  He couldn't get up today, was almost late, and told me he sooooo did not want to go in.  I said, "Only two more days!"  But since it's supposed to rain tomorrow again, he asked his boss if he needed him and his boss said no, so he's done for now until March (unless his dog biz takes off fabulously and he doesn't need to work -- or we win the lottery).


So he's on his way home -- we'll have lunch, take Kayla to Belly Rubs for her much overdue bath, get the house ready for bug-guy, pick up Kayla from Belly Rubs, pick up my car from Clay Dooley, and then ............ CELEBRATION!

Home for the Holidays

Bob and I are home, in Normal, for the holidays.  Philly left today for her other home, in Anaheim, for the holidays.  She usually stays longer, until around Dec. 20.  But Laura's boyfriend came for Thanksgiving from CT, and she wanted Mom to meet him. Not to mention Penelope -- I call her Baby P -- celebrating her first Thanksgiving.  She was sad to leave her Normal home and her Normal friends -- not to mention missing Advent at NCC and driving around to see the Christmas lights and the first snowfall.  But hopefully some good baby-head-sniffing will make up for what she's missing here.  And maybe we won't get much snow this winter so she won't have to miss out! A girl can dream ...


Going through Zion photos today, trying to pick some for a Christmas-card-photo-thing, which I'm thinking of doing this year.  We took several of the three of us on our last day, but I'm not thrilled with any of them.  This one is nice, but I'm not sure about it.

Bob is outside doing yard work.  When he's done I'll see what he thinks.  I was going to write something else but just totally lost my train of thought.

Bob's last day of work at the golf course is Wednesday.  He is very happy about that, as am I.  We will start going to the gym together on Friday (Gold's is closed on Thursday of course).  On Thursday we'll enjoy our semi-regular Thanksgiving feast with the Fox-Anvick crew (they graciously include us the year's they celebrate in town).  Looking forward to great food and wonderful friends.

Then next week hopefully Bob can devote more time to Pawsitive Transformations.  He already has several clients coming up in the next week or so, and we need to figure out the web site (find a designer, etc.).  Officially we have our Normal business license, LCC status with the state, and business checking account taken care of -- now we just need to get some other things finalized.  For me the web site is the most important so hopefully we'll get it settled soon.

We did finalize the logo ... and the final artwork is complete!

Getting back to Normal

Slowly but surely.


At night when I wake up I still think I'm sleeping in Coleman sometimes.  Only I'm warmer, and more comfortable.  And Bob doesn't have to climb over me to get out of bed.  And there is a flush toilet nearby.  And it doesn't smell like a campfire outside. 


Last night about 12:30am I woke up and noticed some red flashing lights on the wall. I thought maybe the campfire outside Coleman had re-ignited and I needed to go out and douse it.  Turns out a cop had pulled someone over across the street. That will pass soon, I'm sure, which is kind of sad, because I love that my subconscious is still kind of in Zion.  Wish my conscious was too.  And my body.


Bob is preaching this week so I got time to get out from under all of the mail and messages at the office, and do some other officey-things, and send emails, and make phone calls, and otherwise generally ease back into the groove of things, in addition to finishing unpacking and finishing laundry.  We went out to dinner with Mom the night after we got back, and cooked the rest of our meals this in a real kitchen with a big stove and oven, instead of our dutch-oven cooking with coals and our camp stove. And while I enjoy washing dishes in the sink or dishwasher instead of having to heat up water and wash them in a large pan, I do kinda miss the little routines we had at camp.  They were more were but in a beautiful location, so it was worth the trouble.  Here's a shot of Bob getting the coals situated to cook yummy meatloaf in our cast-iron dutch oven.  It's the best tasting meatloaf ever!

Home

We are back from our WONDERFUL Zion vacation, buried in laundry, mail, email, unpacking, etc. -- so not time to write much now, other than to say we had a great time with mostly fabulous weather (gorgeous weather the first week, very warm, then still beautiful but rather chilly the second week but hey, it was November after all!) and we already miss the red rocks that surrounded our "home" for 12 days/nights.  Here is a shot from the front door of Coleman, a view which didn't change much from day to day ...

We had a long and at times scary drive home (in the dark through the Rockies Sunday night during a snow storm that arrived earlier than the Weather Channel indicated it would arrive) and pulled into our driveway before 10pm last night.  When re-entry is achieved and I am less buried I'll write more about it.  In the meantime, another photo to hold you all over until then.  Me, Bob, and Kayla down by the Virgin River while my sister was visiting.

Zion or bust!

Leaving for NCC in about an hour, then home to grab the last few items and hit the road, hopefully before 1pm today!  I leave you with no music, but a photo we took a few years ago of the Virgin River flowing through Zion National Park, close to where we'll be camping in the canyon.  Want to see more of the most beautiful place on earth?  Check out the photo gallery.


We will drive as far as we can today, hopefully well into Nebraska on I-80.  Then we plan to drive through the Rockies tomorrow, arriving in Green River, Utah Monday night.  Tuesday .... ZION!  Betsy arrives the following week to join us for our last few days of camping.  Can't wait to get there!

Almost outta here!

Robin Meyers clergy lunch/lecture on Friday, Saturday workshop -- ✔ 
Wine to keep me from having a melt-down -- ✔ ✔
Laundry -- ✔ 
Packing -- still working on it
More wine -- ✔


Oy.  Why can't we just BE in Zion now?  Ah well, the journey is the thing I suppose.  But getting ready for the journey sucks, especially this weekend.  Just WAY too much going on.  


Loved Robin Meyers by the way -- very down to earth, approachable, friendly.  We bonded driving him around yesterday.  Funny too, and fun.


But now he's winging his way back to Oklahoma, and I still have crap to do.


Oy.


More wine -- ✔

I have not blogged

Besides the fact that I am very busy with Robin Meyers, regular church stuff, and getting ready for vacation, I also have not blogged so as to wean you off of my somewhat regular blogging since I'll be camping for two weeks in Zion, Utah and unable to blog, and I know that will be hard on the two or three of you who read this blog.  So ... you're welcome.


Meyers things are coming together (good thing since he'll be here in two days).  The planning committee insists on doing just about every task "by committee" and the latest glitch is the bulletin I'm working on for the service on Sunday.  I don't mind input but editing and creating a church bulletin with 9 people is ridiculous.  The latest issue is the communion words I chose, which one person feels are too traditional and Catholic, even tho there is no mention of bodies, blood, atonement, the cross, or salvation, AND besides the fact that they came from a new "progressive liturgy" project being done by TCPC.  Maybe I should just put, "Rub-a-dub-dub, thanks for the grub, YAY GOD!"


Oy.


Since we have no secretary, I have three bulletins to run off by Thursday -- two for the weeks we will be gone, and one for this Sunday.  Plus a bunch of stuff for the Meyers workshop.  Plus a bunch of other stuff.  Got the newsletter done so that's out of the way.  But still have to do laundry and pack on Saturday, and various other projects.


So let's just say on Sunday around 12:30pm, as we head west, I will be one very happy camper.  Camper!  Get it?  Heh.

Getting poked

I leave for the doctor in half an hour to get poked and prodded.  I think turning 50 will involve more poking and prodding than usual, and eventual scoping, tho not today.  Today will be about blood pressure and feeling my boobs, and scheduling a mammo so they can squish my boobs in November after our vacation.  Tomorrow morning they will suck my hungry blood (fasting blood test) to tell me my cholesterol is too high. My back is feeling better but I will also ask her to poke it and maybe give me a PT scrip.


I wonder if my back feels better because the Interfaith Panel is over -- and was a huge success!  We hoped to get maybe 50-75 people.  We had over 150, and there was a Pantagraph article about it, which was cool, except that they made David H. a Unitarian.  I'll miss David.  He was a great addition to NCC.


And the panel was a great gift to our community.  Great energy in the room, lots of good attention to the panelists, and terrific questions from the audience.  Couldn't have gone better, thank goodness we stuck with it and it all turned out fine.  As you know, dear readers, I began to have my doubts when egos roared but then I stepped back, took a breath, and shushed my own ego.  Voila! A successful interfaith panel!  Perhaps a lesson there somewhere.

Getting pretty

Have had a crazy busy week that just gets crazier every day, without much time to write.  However, I do have time to go get pretty in a few minutes -- if you come to the Interfaith Panel this evening at 7:15pm you'll see just how pretty!  (Hint: Check out my hair.  Getting a trim, blow dry, and style, which makes my hair look fabulous for a day.  Then it gets put back into my incompetent hands where I wash it, comb it out, let it air dry, and then let it all hang out or put it in a ponytail.  But tonight it should be looking good!)


Back is still on the mend -- I think I messed it up Sunday using a stool to preach from. I was trying to save my body from standing all that time, and thought the stool would help, but it put me at an odd angle and sort of set me back a bit.  So back to gravity chairs and taking it easy for a few days.  And as luck would have it, I see my GP tomorrow for my annual physical, so I'll see what she thinks about it as well.  Maybe she'll give me a scrip for PT?  That would be nice, especially if she'll let me go the "home visit" route, hehe.

I ♥ Fall

It is a freaking GORGEOUS day today.  Cool, sunny, breezy. We've had a great stretch of weather lately and even though I've been inside most of the time, I have been able to enjoy it through our windows upstairs.  I am sitting in the living room now, in my gravity chair, laptop in my, well, lap.  Bob is outside taking pictures of Kayla in the fall leaves, which I will post below when he comes back in.  There aren't many leaves on the grass yet but there are a few, and she's happy out there chasing her ball.


My back is much better and I leave for Utah two weeks from tomorrow -- all is right with the world. Except I have a ton to do between now and Oct. 31 but it will get done and I'll handle it all with my usual finesse.  And then I am soooooooooo outta here! We have not been to Zion since 2005, and not to Utah at all since May 2008, and it's been much too long.  My arthritis was not flaring when I was last there, and I will be interested to see how I feel while we are out there.  The dryness of the high desert often heals my bones, and the red rock canyons will nourish my soul.  We planned on just tent camping, but have decided, at my request, to take Coleman as well in case I have a hard time getting up and out of the tent.  It's cheap to camp there, so we'll set up Coleman when we first arrive, and then, if one of our favorite sites opens up along the river, we'll claim it for our tent and have two sites.  My sister is coming out for the last few days so that'll give us extra space as well.  Plus it may take a few days to get our perfect tent site.  So this plan is a good one.

Speaking of favorite sites, I consider it interesting that in our two favorite campgrounds in America, Zion National Park and Hunting Island State Park (SC), our favorite campsite is #74.  Must be our lucky number.  Maybe that means we'll be married for 74 years?

Planets and Pelvis are now aligned

My PT/Astrologist came by this morning and said my pelvis was pretty well aligned with the planets and approved my cheap purchase of gel inserts for my right shoe (the shorter leg due to bent knee) and agreed I was definitely on the road to recovery.  So I am venturing to the office soon to run off the bulletin and meet someone who is going to do some volunteer cleaning of a storage closet (which I will not assist with due to my condition).  Then I'll come home and continue to go easy on my back.

That said, it is much better, I survived my two meetings yesterday without incident, and even managed to eat dinner at the table last night for the first time in two weeks with the aid of a couple of well placed pillows.  All without pay"back" -- get it?  PayBACK?  Also, do you like my song? 


So I believe I am on the road to recovery and will start swimming again on Monday which will certainly help as well.  And eventually add some core/back strengthening. Thus I am hoping that my blog-whining about my back has come to and end.  From now on I'll have to find other things to whine about!  No worries, I have a long list ... heh.

Heading out into the world

With the exception of church on Sunday and a trip to the grocery store on Monday I have not left the house -- the back is getting better but is not all the way there.  So I have been spending lots of time in my gravity chair, getting up frequently to move and stretch my back, which MUST get better if for no other reason than I have a 1600 mile car trip to Utah coming up at the end of the month (VACATION!) which would be hellish if it does not improve.


But today I am venturing out for two meetings, both involving getting in and out of my car which proved painful and challenging on Monday.  But since my back is better than it was on Monday, perhaps it won't be as bad.  I did call and find out the meeting at noon is in hard, straight back plastic chairs, which concerns me and may involve my early exit from that meeting so that I can go find a more appropriate seating option.  This evening's meeting is at the CRC in the boardroom, with more appropriate chair options.  I am just hoping that I don't make my back worse by venturing out into the world.  And I am allowing myself the option of leaving either meeting if they cause my back to hurt -- and if people don't understand then, well, poop on them.


All I know is that reclining and stretching has helped, and I am not about to go backwards by overdoing it today.  But hopefully it won't be too bad and my road to recovery will continue.  That said, back pain/injury sucks ass.

Bad Blogger

I haven't blogged since Friday because I've been avoiding sitting in a chair to help my back heal.  And blogging on my laptop became tedious as I hate that keyboard.  Plus I figured you all were sick of hearing about my back, maybe even as sick as I am of the whole affair. But I shall make the sacrifice and sit here at my desk and blog for a moment because I'm sure all three of my readers have missed me.


My back is starting to mend, I hope, finally.  Had a bad day yesterday (dummy me went grocery shopping) but told myself last night I would be better today, so that's my story and I'm sticking to it.  The odd thing is that the pain has moved.  After the last Tuesday spasms all along my lower back, the pain radiated to my lower left side and stayed a while.  Then it moved to my lower right side, where it afflicted me most of the weekend.  And now it's moved up to my left side just where my bra strap rides (when I can get a bra on, that is).  Still a bit stiff in the lower right but not as bad.  So my thought is that it is moving up and outta there for good!  If not by Wednesday then Bob thinks I should go to the doctor to get an appointment with a PT.  Or maybe Kim can come show me some new exercises when she gets back from her lovely R and R.


Anyway, it's a lovely day, I plan to get some work done but also to continue taking it easy. I have office work I can do on my laptop for NCC, and no meetings to attend until Thursday.  So, fingers crossed that I am on the mend!

YouTube laughs

Christopher Walken makes me laugh. I especially love his voice. And his relaxed, almost sleep-walking acting style. He hosted SNL last year, or maybe it was the year before, and he did this skit with Kristin Wiig playing a character named Sue, who got a tad over-excited about the prospect of a surprise party for CW's niece. The skit was amusing, but I quickly forgot about it.

Then I found this youtube video this morning. I wasn't sure what it was at first, but recognized Walken's voice and thought cool, this guy is talking to CW. Then I heard the applause and realized that this guy was perfectly lip syncing the Kristin Wiig part of the skit. And acting it out. It made me laugh. Which kind of made my back hurt again but it was worth it. So here I am, sitting on ice, getting ready to watch it again. Enjoy!

Here is a link to the original skit if you are interested.
http://video.aol.ca/video-detail/saturday-night-live-skit-surprise-party/72057658936783856/?icid=VIDURVMOV03

Meet my pelvis

KT the PT came by last night after work to check out my pelvis.  It's something she's been wanting to do for a very long time, starting last spring at the Women's Retreat when she tried to touch my pubic bone.  So last night her persistence finally paid off when she got to touch me in numerous places (after we had both consumed wine) supposedly to help figure out what's going on with my back.  She discovered that I am out of balance -- which I am sure comes as no surprise to anyone.  Or maybe she said I'm out of alignment. And one leg is longer than the other (due to a permanently bent knee) and she thinks I have a curve in my spine.  Good lord I'm a mess! Anyway she had me lay down on the bed and then told me to spread my legs and after inappropriate laughter we pushed and pulled and when we were done my back felt a little better.  So she taught Bob how to do it to me and he's going to repeat the exercises this afternoon and "do it to me" when he gets home from work.


Note that the above was written while only under the influence of Tylenol and Sweet Tea. I have not been able to yet score any muscle relaxers (or any herbal remedies).  Just imagine what I would have written had I been on either or both of them!


I slept alright last night but when I woke up this morning, after being flat all night, I was stiff and sore again and made old man noises getting up to go to the bathroom.  I am now back in my gravity chair with ice and my laptop, imagining that I am some better than yesterday and hopefully not as good as I will be tomorrow.  To secure that, I am staying home again today and missing a meeting tonight. I was going to go to my meeting but Bob reminded me how when he does this to his back I chain him to the bed and don't let him do anything at all.  I was properly chagrined and moved to obedience.


Now all I need is a little bell so summon P-Dub to fill my every want and need ...


Speaking of Sweet Pea-Dub, she arrived yesterday and is very happy to be here. The weather is perfect and the leaves are just starting to change.  We are remembering Dad, who left us eight years ago today and knew a thing or two about back pain.  Tonight we'll toast him and I suspect tears will flow from old girl a time or two.


If he were alive, he would have appreciated the humor of the first paragraph -- we had much in common, including the sense of humor of 12 year old boys.

Oh my aching back

So far, being 50 sucks ass.


Yesterday morning I got up, dressed, and headed out to the vet with Kayla for one of her never-ending urine tests (getting old for dogs sucks ass too, she has recurrent bladder infections).  She jumped in the back of the car (she LOVES going to the vet -- well to be honest, she loves going anywhere) and off we went.  I parked the SUV, I turned it off, I opened the car door, stepped out, and WHAM! Huge spasms in my lower back.  


I figured it was some fluke temporary thing and hobbled to the back of the car, got Kayla out and took her into the office.  Sat down on a bench and WHAM! Another spasm of pain which doubled me over in my seat.  Nice receptionist asks if I am okay, I say yes, just having a back spasm.  I should insert that in spite of 36 years of RA, I have fortunately had little to no back problems, and never had a back spasm that I can recall.  So I thought this was just some temporary thing that would work itself out soon.  WRONG!


Got home with some difficulty -- sitting and then trying to stand are my biggest challenges right now -- and decided to skip the gym and go sit in the hot tub.  Figured that would take care of it like it does my arthritis stiffness.  Um, no.  Had a hell of a time getting in and out of the tub, and felt worse afterwards (found out much later that ice was what I should have been doing -- am sitting/leaning on some now as a matter of fact -- me likey). Bob got off early for a 1pm appointment we had with our accountant, which he insisted we cancel so I could go lie down, flat (instead of sitting at the computer, which I had been doing since getting out of the hot tub). This happens to Bob about once a year and he is a pro when it comes to incapacitating lower back pain. Dumb ole me insisted we go to the meeting.  We did.  The car ride to and from south Bloomington almost killed me.


So I went home to bed after the meeting, right?  Um, no. I had Bob drop me off at the office to get ready for a board meeting I had at 4pm.  Sat at that computer for two hours, then the board meeting, then home.  I called "uncle" finally -- tho much later than I should have.  I was dying, and wisely decided to stay home from my 6:30pm meeting.  I reclined in my gravity chair with wine and ice and watched GLEE.


Much to my relief I slept pretty well, but oy, getting out of bed this morning was loud and profane.  Felt just as bad as the day before, so back to ice, gravity chair, bed, and a visit from my friendly PT later this evening.  Followed by more wine.  And hopefully no trip to the doctor ... tho I would love to try muscle relaxers. Me on muscle relaxers could be a hoot!


Thank goodness Philly gets here this afternoon -- she can take care of me.  Bob is picking her up at the Amtrak station in Princeton this afternoon since I can't sit in a car for that long.  Hope she is well rested! 

Melancholy Monday

I always feel blue during the first week of October.  It was the last week we had with my dad before he died, and in particular, the weekend of World Communion Sunday (first weekend of October) is always a poignant one because he died the next day, on a Monday.

Eight years ago right now I was out in SoCal where I had the unique privilege of getting to spend his final weeks with my dad, and was able to say goodbye to him.  He was dying of terminal cancer at the much too young age of 75. I had been there since Sept. 12, and had not gone to church during my stay but that first weekend of October I decided to go to church on World Communion Sunday -- to a little liberal UCC church my mom had attended many times, and where I had gone a few times.  They were a lot like NCC, including having a jazz pianist play secular music, responses to the sermon, and being open and gay friendly.  They were a bit smaller than NCC but in most every other way, the west coast twin of our congregation.  And on that weekend, as my dad was slipping away more quickly, I felt the need to be in a spiritual setting with progressive Christians.

I remember arriving and being greeted warmly by the pastor and a few members who recognized me -- they all asked about were loving and kind and supportive, and I was glad I was with them.  We sat down, and as soon as the pianist started playing prelude music, reminding me so much of Lloyd at NCC, I lost it and started crying.  And I cried and cried and cried (quietly for the most part, no gasping sobs) and they found me a box of kleenex and let me just sit there and cry, with an occasional hand resting on my back or shoulder.  They didn't try to fix me or stop my tears -- they just let me cry.  And as I recall I cried through most of the service, with my head down, lost in my grief but knowing I was surrounded by the love of these strangers, and at the end of the service, when I had finally stopped crying, we stood in a circle for the closing blessing and instead of their usual dismissal, several of them took the time to say words of comfort. I went back home and the next day, Monday, October 7 at 3:15pm, he was gone.

October 7 is a Thursday this year, the official anniversary of his death, but for me each year, it's the Monday after World Communion Sunday when I grieve the most.  Hard to believe how much I still miss him after eight years, and what a hole he's left in our hearts. But he also left a lot of laughter, and love, and tonight Bob and I will have dinner and toast him, and tell some of the stories about him we remember most fondly.  And then Mom will be here Wednesday and we'll remember him again the next day, with her.

I don't believe in heaven in the conventional sense that most Christians do -- in fact there are times I'm pretty sure that this temporal plane is all there is.  But in spite of that, I feel him all around, all the time.  He's gone but not gone, here but not here, and I am content to dwell in the mystery.  At his memorial service, which was filled with music, at the very end the whole family went up and gathered around the piano, which my brother David was playing, and sang "I'll Fly Away," for him, for us.

Perhaps summer is finally over

With the dawn of October, it appears we may have put away the hot humid weather for another year. Thank goddess!  What a sucky summer of 2010.  We lucked out in 2009, with mild temps for the most part, but then it more than made up for it this year.  Just bleh, it was awful.  So I am very happy to see it go and welcome Fall back.  Today will be in the mid-70's and then we'll cool down appropriately over the weekend.  I may even have to put shoes on for the first time in forever (I'm a sandal kind of gal).  We'll see tho, don't want to go crazy or anything.


Bob is preaching this week so I've gotten a lot of office things done, as reported earlier. And tomorrow I may just have run out of excuses to clean the house -- it really is quite a mess and since P-Dub arrives next week, it should probably look more presentable than it currently does.  I went into her room today to put her Meyers book on her bed, and forgot that I had moved all of my birthday party balloons in there.  She got the extra special strong helium in them and those darn things were floating for over a week.  Then a few strays kept floating around and we were having company so I moved them into her bedroom and forgot about them.  Will need to get them out of there -- or maybe not?  Mom, would you like some pretty half-filled balloons on your bedroom floor when you get here? It's kind of festive in a "the party's really over" kind of way.


After today Bob only has two weeks of work left and he is very happy about that.  He normally works at the golf course through December, but I encouraged him to quit earlier than usual so he could work on his business (and get us ready for our Utah camping vacation).  We are getting excited about the dog biz, and a friend who does advertising and marketing for a living has sent us some draft logos that we are thrilled with!  Once we've settled on the one we want, and had some tweaks dones, I'll unveil it here.


In the meantime, Happy October -- and to all of my gaybees -- Happy LGBT History Month!

I thought I did this already?

I meant to blog earlier today but I guess I spaced out and didn't get to it.  I am not preaching this week so I've been doing tons of "secretarial" kinds of things, which I enjoy doing for the most part, but whenever I do I get too many things "open" on my to-do list and have a sort of ADD moment where I'm not sure if I'm coming or going.  I need to start a project and finish it, and then move on to the next one -- but I never do that.  I start six and work on them all here and there and if I'm lucky a couple get done.

Right now I should be writing my "From the Pulpit" column due Friday, but I got distracted by my blog.  That, and the fact that writing 400 words is nearly impossible. I am way to wordy to limit my spiritual wisdom to 400 words. HAHA! I am supposed to write a column about Robin Meyers, coyly advertising his visit here in October, but I have no clue how to do that. I should have asked someone else to do it months ago.  My plate is full.  But I'll do my best.

Another gorgeous fall day here, and Bob is home soon.  After this week he'll only have two weeks left at the golf course.  To say he is counting the hours would not be an exaggeration.  He has 96 hours left (assuming there are no rain days, then it's less than that) and then he is DUN and ready to start the dog training business.  We have a business name, and a slogan.

Pawsitive Transformations

Bringing out the best in our best friends

What do you think?  Next up is a web site, some small business education through ISU and SCORE, then watch out world!


I went with Bob to the Humane Society on Tuesday, to play with a sweet little puppy named Augie, who is not yet up for adoption but needed some attention. He's freaking adorable, but very chewy. I felt like I was in a room with a school of piranha. He bit my hands, my legs, my feet -- with those razor sharp little puppy teeth.  I was having trouble getting him to stop and Bob came in and immediately got him to sit and pay attention and do amazing puppy things that did not involve chewing.  I knew he was good at this stuff, but other than with Kayla and Sheba, never really saw him in action before.  


He's very gifted.  And that is not wifely bias.  It's true.

Bob has a treat, and thus Augie's attention. He's going to get him to sit.

And VOILA - Augie sits! And does not chew.

This is Macey. She sat right away, and was not a chewer.